Buildings Friendships That Last (Part 1: The Importance of Values)

 

 

As much as many of us interpret our friendships as a means of enjoying the lives we have in the world we live in, friendship by its core concept holds far more significant insights about ourselves than we may realize.

When we deem someone to be our friends, what we are actually doing is first observing the qualities and characteristics of the people around us before then deciding which of those qualities and characteristics we find to be the most desirable.

Simply put, we naturally choose to surround ourselves with people who have the same interests and values as we do.

While there is nothing wrong with that truth, becoming aware of it presents us with the ability to more directly come to terms with who we are as individuals by paying attention to the types of people we choose to surround ourselves with.

The qualities of our friendships are a reflection of who we truly are.

Therefore if we become able to better judge, refine, and preserve the qualities of the friendships that bring out the best in us, we can hope to live better lives through the process of becoming better people.

 

Some Friendships Aren’t Good For Us

Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”

1 Corinthians 15:33

To be a people who make good friends, we must be a people who know what good friends look like.

Yet to know what good friends look like, must first know for ourselves what values a good friend will have.

However, to know for ourselves what values a good friend will have, we must first subject our own personal values and principles to those of the word and will of God.

The reality of life is that after living with a certain kind of sin our lives with such a long time, we become blind to it and eventually mistake it for righteousness.

Even though we may like certain relationships in our lives for being fun and enjoyable, the truth is that whether or not we know about it or choose to admit, those relationships may take us away from the people we know we are called to be.

Perspective can be a dangerous thing if we use it as an excuse to ignore the truth.

Only when perspective is set towards the truth can it be used for the greatest good.

Only when we first shape our own personal values to be in line with those of God and scripture can we be certain that we can choose the friendships that will help us live more meaningful lives.

And while that might seem like a daunting task to undertake for the sake of developing a skill most of us may honestly feel like we already have, to shape our values to the will of God simply revolves around the single act of deciding what it is that we as individuals choose to live for.

 

Only Good Values Produce Good Frienships

For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.

Galatians 1:10

Not every person who lives on this earth lives for God alone.

Some people live for the things that they can see and feel like careers, status, and possessions.

Some people live for other people that comfort them like their spouses, their children, or their close friends.

Some people live for the experiences that life has to offer like traveling, art, music, and even religion.

While many of these lifelong desires have the capacity to bring us some form of joy and fulfillment in our lives, their Achilles heel comes in the form of their weakness to the power of sin.

Our careers don’t care about the pride and greed we develope for pursuing them more than anything else.

We don’t automatically become impervious to the temptation of evny and lust just because we get married.

The experiences we have in our lives such as going to church or being apart of a choir won’t automatically make us any less lazy or gluttonous than we already are.

No matter where we go, or what we do, we will always be whoever we choose to be.

And because sin will always be apart of our lives, whether we admit it or not, the fact is that if we live our lives in appeasement to the evils of lust, vengeance, and selfishness, we will eventually find ourselves with nothing but the pain of regret.

Only in God and in the sacrifice of Jesus Christ for our sin can we find the strength and capability to resist every form of sin in our lives whenever and wherever it appears.

In selflessness, the hold of pride, and greed become forfeit.

In wisdom, the power of lust and gluttony has no effect.

In righteousness, the fist of sloth, wrath, and envy is loosened never to be clenched against us ever again.

When we utilize these values to navigate the situations and circumstances of life, our friendships become both enduring and unbreakable because the values that we use to create them are steadfast and all-encompassing.

 

While our sin can ruin and desecrate our friendships before they even begin, the righteousness and purity that comes from God can make them some of the most beloved and priceless things that we can ever come to possess.

It all begins with what we are looking for.

So rather than just get together with people who are willing to laugh with us, we also ought to cherish the people in our lives who are willing to cry with us because sometimes the people who may be the best for us in our lives may not always stand out.

Let us love the goodness that comes from the lord and surround ourselves with friends who do the same and before we know it, we will experience the joy and satisfaction of a community that will last forever.

Thanks For Reading!

 

 

 

 

 

2 thoughts on “Buildings Friendships That Last (Part 1: The Importance of Values)

  1. This is a great post, Marklyn about the purpose of building friendships that last. I just found your blog and this post is amazing!

    I like when you said, “When we deem someone to be our friends, what we are actually doing is first observing the qualities and characteristics of the people around us before then deciding which of those qualities and characteristics we find to be the most desirable.”

    I like that you defined friendship this way because this is the basic part of how we as human beings define friendships when we are in the world.

    I also like when you said:

    “The qualities of our friendships are a reflection of who we truly are.

    Therefore if we become able to better judge, refine, and preserve the qualities of the friendships that bring out the best in us, we can hope to live better lives through the process of becoming better people.”

    Some of the quotes that I liked in your post include:

    1). “However, to know for ourselves what values a good friend will have, we must first subject our own personal values and principles to those of the word and will of God.”

    2). “Perspective can be a dangerous thing if we use it as an excuse to ignore the truth.
    Only when perspective is set towards the truth can it be used for the greatest good.”

    3). “Only when we first shape our own personal values to be in line with those of God and scripture can we be certain that we can choose the friendships that will help us live more meaningful lives.”

    – “… to shape our values to the will of God simply revolves around the single act of deciding what it is that we as individuals choose to live for.”

    4). “The experiences we have in our lives such as going to church or being apart of a choir won’t automatically make us any less lazy or gluttonous than we already are.

    No matter where we go, or what we do, we will always be whoever we choose to be.”

    5). “Only in God and in the sacrifice of Jesus Christ for our sin can we find the strength and capability to resist every form of sin in our lives whenever and wherever it appears.”

    6). “While our sin can ruin and desecrate our friendships before they even begin, the righteousness and purity that comes from God can make them some of the most beloved and priceless things that we can ever come to possess.”

    – “… Let us love the goodness that comes from the lord and surround ourselves with friends who do the same and before we know it, we will experience the joy and satisfaction of a community that will last forever.”

    This was such a great post, Marklyn that I was wondering if I could reference this in a future blog post about how we are to build friendships around who God is and not who the world says that we are?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You can refernce this or any other post as much as you’d like. Knowledge is only at it’s best when it’s given freely.

      I’m really glad this post meant something for you! Thanks for your kind words! I truly appreciate it.

      Like

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