Today was Father’s day and to those of you who don’t know me in person, my father passed away when I was very young.
It’s a sad fact yes but not so much for me.
I was blessed to have a lot of really good father figures in my life and all things considered I think I’ve turned out alright.
(With the help of my amazing mother of course)
However, today I couldn’t help but really think about my father and the type of person he was in life.
I was too young when he passed away to really know him personally but every single member of my family has always had great things to say about him whenever the topic came up.
He was a prominent pastor at our local church.
He was a well-respected basketball coach of a young adult team.
He even played in the NBA for a time if you can believe that.
Yet more than anything else, one thing everyone always mentioned about him was that he truly loved God with all his heart.
I would often hear of how he was looked up to in his community for being a good and upright man in everything that he said and everything that he did.
And I hear even clearer of how devastated our friends and family were when he suddenly passed away.
When I think of my Father I can’t help but wonder how life would have been different if he were still around.
Would I like basketball like he did or would I prefer tennis like I do now?
Would I be better disciplined than I am now?
Would I have different friends than to do right now?
Yet more than anything else, I always wonder why did God allow him to die even though he had done so much good in the world?
Why didn’t God let him live at least for a little while longer?
Why did it have to be him?
While I may never know the answers to those question until I can ask God myself I am at least certain of one thing, God doesn’t let anything happen that isn’t apart of his plan.
Over the course of my life, I’ve learned of the good that can come about when I’m simply willing to grit my teeth and find strength in the hope that God brings me.
As seemingly impossible as it would seem, God truly has used the circumstance of my father’s death to help me be the person that he knows I can be.
I truly believe that God will guide me to good things as he guided him in his lifetime.
I look forward to the challenges and difficulties that will come along that long journey because there is one thing that God has made clear to me over of the course of my life.
No matter how dark or how hopeless my life may seem, I will never be defeated, not by shame, not by grief, and not by suicide.
As long as God is with me, though every hardship, I will always grow stronger.
I look at my life as not as a tragedy because of my father’s unfortunate death but as a story of hope and triumph.
I’d like to think that if my father were watching me from the afterlife he would be proud of the person I’m becoming and at least be able to rest easy knowing I’ve got a good head on my shoulders.
I’d like that.
Yet even if he weren’t, I have a good feeling that someday, a long time from now, I’ll finally be able to look him in the eyes, shake his hand, and speak with him not only as father and son but as one man and another.
I’ve got a lot of work to do before that day.
With God as my strength, I will press on.
This is 30 Days of Growth: Day 16
Good Dads make the World a Better Place!